The Heart of Porkness is a sequel to Pig Tales and concerns the further adventures of the noble Swinestein, the affable Shortstraw, and the lovely Porcetta.
After the events portrayed in Pig Tales, Porcetta and Shortsraw are living an idyllic life in their little cottage in Scratchingmudwallow in the Mead, but Swinestein is troubled. Now that his friend is gone he feels alone and without purpose, as if all the zest is gone from his life.
Then out of the blue comes resurrection in the form of an S.O.S from an old friend in Africa, the redoubtable Rumpo Hogwild. He’s come into the possession of a map, with a mysterious encryption which he wishes Swinestein to decipher, and proposes that Swinestein join him in Africa to undertake a search for the legendary Golden Hoard in the famed city of Antlantis. Of course Swinestein is instantly restored to vigor, and sets sail on the first tide.
In the port of Hambasa, Swinestein unknowingly encounters his old enemy, the nasty and embittered Rudy Rootsnuffle, transformed beyond recognition and a deserter from the French Furry Legion, which he joined after being rejected by Porcetta. With the help of the vainglorious and brainless Mug Robgabe, self-appointed President of Chimpanyika, Rootsnuffle gleefully plots to sabotage the mission and get his revenge.
News arrives of Swinestein’s disappearance in the jungle, and Shortstraw mounts a rescue expedition. All the old crew from Pig Tales are willingly recruited and a dark continental game of cat and mouse, or rather lion and lemur ensues, (Yes. I know there aren’t any lemurs in Africa, but it rhymes, so don’t be pedantic.)
Swinestein and Rumpo unravel the enigmas and follow the constellations across legendary landscapes, encountering a whole menagerie of new mates. Along the way they meet the sentimental white barracuda, Dopy Mick, and the Mighty Boarzan, Lord of the Jungle. (Unfortunately it’s the wrong jungle, but it all comes out in the wash.)
The rescue mission arrives and sets off boldly into the interior and from there on in it gets somewhat convoluted as a series of double crosses, crossed signals, river crossings and zebras crossing leads everybody to get everything asp about feces. It all concludes with an almighty dust up in which snakes get slapped, chimps chinned, bonobos battered, baboons biffed, hyenas hammered, pigs punched, and aardvarks get…..well never mind…..You get the drift.
It will not surprise you to learn that it doesn’t turn out the way anyone thought it would. Including you. But then, it never does, does it? In the end, some are left older and wiser, and some are just left.